Favoritism Nepotism 2

As HR professionals, we’re the ones responsible for keeping the employees at our organizations happy and productive. This goal is hard to reach if there is favoritism or nepotism on the job, especially if it’s allowed to grow unchecked.

What is favoritism in the workplace?

Favoritism in the workplace is exactly what it sounds like: favoring someone not because he or she is doing a great job, but for reasons outside of the job performance. For instance, a manager consistently offers an employee the best and most highly-regarded projects, even though that employee does not perform well enough to deserve them. Or perhaps an employee is offered a promotion over someone else who has been at the company longer and has more experience.

Oftentimes, favoritism occurs when a manager and an employee have developed a friendship beyond the workplace. Examples of favoritism in the workplace are when two coworkers worked together previously and have a shared history, or maybe they have bonded over common outside interests, like sports or music. The effects of favoritism in the workplace can become even worst when these friendships turn into potential harassment. Dr Carole Easton, chief executive of the Young Women’s Trust, said: “Young women’s treatment at work, pay and wellbeing are trailing far behind those of young men.

Another form of favoritism is nepotism. From the Italian word for nephew, “nipote,” nepotism is showing favor to family members. In a work situation, family members may be hired, promoted, or otherwise unfairly favored over other candidates, simply because they’re part of the family. By age 30, about 22% of American sons will be working for the same employer at the same time as their fathers. (The Guardian)

You can read more about other forms of discrimination in the workplace in this recent whitepaper:

Discrimination in the Workplace – 5 Practical Ways to Minimize Selection Bias in Your Recruiting Process

When either favoritism or nepotism takes place in the workplace, the effect is usually the same. It leads to a number of negative results (aslo known as discrimination in the workplace) such as:

  • Lower morale. When employees perceive that there is favoritism in how they are treated by management, a sense of unfairness creeps in. It raises the question, “Why didn’t I get that project/promotion/corner office?” This brings down company morale, because favoritism is understood to mean that no matter what you do, your efforts won’t be rewarded if you’re not one of the favored few.
  • Resentment. What then follows is resentment towards the manager who is unfairly favoring an employee who may not be the most deserving, as well as towards the favored employee who is taking advantage of the situation.
  • Desertion. If the resentment reaches a certain point, your company may be at risk of losing some potentially excellent employees who won’t want to stick around where they’re not appreciated.
  • Overlooked potential. When a manager continually favors one or a few employees over the others, he or she may be missing out on the talents and skills the others bring to the table. This can lead to promoting someone who is not ready for more responsibilities over someone who is ready and able to take on a challenge.
  • Stunted growth. With a decline in morale, growing resentment, and overlooked potential, a manager who unfairly favors one employee is also hurting the company overall by stunting the growth that would come from moving the best employees forward to management positions. This also is a consequence of losing employees who may have been of great value.
  • Legal implications. Last but certainly not least, the practice of favoritism may lead to legal action if an employee feels that he or she was discriminated against or was forced to work in a hostile environment. A manager’s favoritism could end up costing your company a lot of money in attorney’s fees.

Now that you know how damaging favoritism and nepotism can be to your employees and your company, your next step is to recognize it and deal with it when it occurs.  Here’s how.

Managing Favoritism in the Workplace

  • Foster professionalism. At its very core, favoritism is unprofessional behavior. A first step to avoiding it is to foster and promote professionalism in your organization. They say the best offense is a good defense. Defend your company from potential favoritism by creating a professional environment that actively discourages any kind of unfair treatment.
  • Offer training. Educating and informing managers and employees alike is another way to help avoid favoritism and discrimination in the workplace. Offer a training session on what favoritism is, why it’s detrimental, and what employees should do if they spot it in the office. If your employees are clear on what to look for, they’ll be more likely to report it if they see it.
  • Facilitate communication. Along the same lines as training, it’s important that employees know they have an open avenue for reporting favoritism confidentially. Unchecked favoritism is harmful, but employees won’t risk reporting it if they’re not sure how to go about it, or if they fear it will come back to negatively affect them.
  • Get to the bottom of it. If you discover that favoritism is taking place in your company, the most important thing is to make sure it stops. It can be a very delicate situation, to be sure, but the damage it poses is much too great to be ignored. If someone comes forth with an accusation of discrimination in the workplace, don’t ignore it. Gather the facts and get to the bottom of it.

Have you experienced favoritism and nepotism? What is your experience in managing favoritism in the workplace?

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  • Anna Lewis says:

    Favoritism and nepotism can never positively influence the office environment, they are like a time bomb and when it comes to zero time, not only office environment suffers, but the foundations of the organization’s culture may shattered. Favoritism and nepotism ruin everything you tried to create and develop in your company – trust, loyalty and understanding. I don’t think that a single employee who you favor is worth this loss.

  • Louis Woytt says:

    I think only those managers can become true leaders whose management style wasn’t affected by these phenomena. Of course, every manager always has someone s/he likes more than other employees, but it shouldn’t affect the way those employees are treated. A fair manager should recognize and admonish employees when they deserve it regardless of personal relationship.

  • Kun Likiak Palik says:

    100% agree

  • fay says:

    It starts at the TOP…..when people are no seen for who they are and what they are strong in… passed by…. how can any company run right???????

  • Dee says:

    What about someone being accused of unjustified favoritism? I have had priveleges and pay increases not given to me because other employees insecurities and accusations of being “the favorite”. And I have continuously stepped up to take on additional responsibilities, put in extra time, and suggest ways to streamline and improve our efficiencies (which were implemented) to try to further my career. How does a person deal with that side?

  • Crystal Shaw says:

    I am a doctoral student at Walden University. I am in my fourth and final year of the program and I have decided to center my dissertation on the practice of favoritism and its influence on the working environment. My perception is that its practice is unethical and unprofessional. I have witnessed its practice for two of my former employers and is the ultimate reason why I sought employment elsewhere. I am looking to gather as much data as I possibly can on the subject matter. If anyone is interested in becoming a possible participant in my study or just rendering some insightful information, please email me at crystal.shaw@waldenu.edu.

  • Shrawan says:

    Hi I work in a company which is a global leader in IT. I personally experienced favoritism in my office. My manager gave be worst rating even i was working on such an assignment which no one was ready to start. Due to my effort entire project was successfully completed.
    Due to worst rating my variable pay was stopped and my promotion stopped.

    But, by the grace of God an another manager saw my profile and was looking for the skill which he was not able to find after a deep search in the organisation.
    He called me and offered me the project which is a really the thing I was looking for.
    So, God helps those who helps themselves.

  • Veronica says:

    I’ve experience favoritism in every job I have ever had, I’ve tried to overlook this throughout the years and now in my 40’s..yes.. this still continues to be an issue. At first I thought: Well, should I speak up and let the Admin. know that I am interested in taking new projects, initiating myself? Bringing solutions/ideas vs.sitting there quietly. Nothing changed!
    I struggle to keep the belief that being professional, working hard, being part of a team, attendance and going that extra mile is very validating and in just plain English, “it feels good”. I’ve contributed to my company each day, and that is only because I work with people that are very unhealthy and have many (medical) needs. However, like all the other jobs in the past, it has been very difficult to come to work and “want” to continue with those working morals. If only Admin. would change their ways and stop with the “it’s who you know” but give us the opportunity to grow and shine. Our work has proven such, our creative solutions and ideas have brought the company financial growth, teamwork, etc.
    I almost wonder if it’s the city I live in, and if this is less of a problem in larger cities ? It appears that where I live companies are allowed to bring in friends/relatives for employment and this creates a hardship for many.

  • Disappointed says:

    I recently just felt the effects of favoritism, I joined a company six months ago and have all my qualifications and have been fully trained up and capable of doing all duties of work. A colleague that was going through her last year of study was still being trained and still has the title of a “trainee”. She just finished her degree but is not fully trained up and does only half my duties. She however has the connections, being the boss’s wife’s bff. A role has been placed out and we both applied for it. In the meeting, I have been told I was not successful, (a slap in the face) and further more they decided to give it to the “trainee”, the next thing they told me was that due to her new role, I will be taking on more work to cover her absence (another slap to the face). I am a bit stuck at what am I do to next, and I am pretty sure she knew she had the position.

  • Anonymous says:

    If you work for a large family owned company and in a no fault state, there is nothing you can do. The family members daughters at the place I work are always getting promoted, getting special assignments, and rarely show up to work, causing others to carry the weight…and resentment. They don’t abide by policy, or dress code. They leave whenever they want, and everyone kisses their butt because they are afraid they will be fired. One guy DID get fired after working for our company for over 13 years, because the owner didn’t like the way he treated one of her friends, outside of the workplace. I didn’t think this was legal, since it had nothing to do with work, but he filed a claim against the company and lost. This is a large company too, with several branches in multiple cities.

  • Julie says:

    I work at a place where it’s obvious that the manager is playing favorites with at least 4 of my coworkers. One of them has barely been here 2 years, compared to my 9 years and has the same kind of workload that i have yet because she’s buddies with the boss the boss gives her extra responsibilities, etc despite my speaking up on numerous occasions stating that I would be interested in and willing to take on more (and even some specific) responsibilities. Another coworker is also buddies with the boss and spends a lot of time in the boss’s office talking about personal things rather than work-related matters. I don’t know how she gets any actual work done as she’s constantly socializing with the boss. Another coworker is related to the boss’s husband, thus of course having gotten her position due to her personal relation to the boss. I’ve asked for more responsibilities but every time something does come up and I express interest, it gets given to one of the favored people and when i inquire about why the other person was given the responsibilities I get told that because I’m so busy already that there’s no way I’d be able to fit anything else in. At no time have I ever told the boss that i’m so busy that I can’t fit anything else in. To the contrary, I have outright offered to take on more. Even a few specific things I’ve been doing for years has been given to the newest favorite person (or to someone else) with me being the backup with the excuse that because I’m so busy that I couldn’t possibly have time to do it. I used to really like my job. Now, because of the favoritism I just feel like as long as this person is my boss that I’m always going to be passed over in favor of her favorites benefiting. I’m so fed up with the favoritism and being needlessly passed over that I’ve been seriously considering looking for another job.

  • Sandra says:

    I’m looking for another job after 16 years with my current employer. The boss hired his son in law 2 years ago. The son in law has a financial degree unrelated to our business. He has to be constantly reminded how to do basic duties by the rest of the staff. He was promoted today as our supervisor. I have a business degree plus tons of experience and was passed up, nepotism at its finest. Other employees who were also qualified were not considered. It’s left me feeling very low and resentful. I no longer feel passionate about anything in that company.

  • BoBo says:

    Most articles on the subject of ‘Nepotism in the workplace’ will tell you to see the HR department about the problem that exists. What do you do when the one and only HR person feels that he is running the company? Most employers look down on negativity in the workplace, so considering that you would be talking to someone who thinks they are the ‘boss’, severe consequences are the result.

    This is how the company I work for runs. I’ve sat in meetings where he would say things like, “We are an at-will company. We can do whatever we want. We are a family-first company.”

    My question is, what do we do? Everyone in the production department is down and depressed. They don’t trust anyone. They can’t talk to HR because he makes the rules. To make matters worse, he has a few relatives there. They work with production (the bottom feeders) for a week, then get promoted to a desk job up front. The company took $4/hr away from a production worker while promoting relatives. To make matters worse, when the company changed insurance plans, the out-of-pocket expense went up for everyone. So they gave everyone with family a 50 cent raise.

    Oh, there’s one girl getting ready to marry. Word is that she’s going to be fired right her beautiful night. She’s one of the ‘targeted’ ones…. Yes, there are others.

    We all need help and advise! PLEASE HELP!

  • Chris says:

    I have currently worked in the oil field for the past 3yrs and due to the oil price going down our rig was put back in the yard.. A month later our rig went back out for a 1 well package and the superintendent son was put out to work on it.. We were always told that the higher you get in the field the better off you are at securing your job.. Well as it comes down to it the superintendents son is just a hand and the rest of us that are drillers and Derrick men have not got the opportunity we were suppose to receive when we were told.. I was wondering if there is anything that can be done to the company or him as the superintendent for loss wages while they are working and we are sitting at home drawing unemployment..

  • Elena says:

    I have been working at the same company for over 5 years and in various departments. I’m casual employed so my situation is even harder. A new employee who has been working less then a year has been promoted to a job that was made up to accommodate to his promotion to a full time position purely on the fact that he has a very good friendship with our manager. All so other staff members including myself with more experience have been demoted to accommodate this promotion. In no way does this young fella have the knowledge or the experience to fulfill this job. For me to go to HR could cost me my job. A manger who is more then will to just write me off the roster bc he feels like it. Don’t know what to do I feel degraded Humiliated among other staff members who feel for me and see this as beinng very wrong. It is even effecting my ability to work i just don’t want to be there and i truly believe the manger does not want me to be there.

  • Anita says:

    I completely understand your situation. I put in a two week notice and things got worse for me. I could see from the beginning how bad most managers are where I’m able to leave and I’ve had problems with a specific manager but I believe I hide it very well and no one has a clue. Today I was sent home early for no good reason. Yes this is my opinion but I’m sure the manager doesn’t like me and caused a little inconvenience just so she can send me home when I was involved in the situation. I don’t know why she would send me home and make things more difficult for her but I’m sure it’s somewhere along the lines of favoritism. There are two co-workers that I’m sure get along very well with said manager and they happen to have much more work hours than anyone else I’ve asked.

    Every time I’m working and those two employees are there and that manager is on duty, I see favoritism. When I walk in they all avoid eye contact and try to avoid me the whole shift. Avoiding me the whole shift and not having proper training and tools in place is the reason things went slightly wrong and I was sent home early. It all could have been avoided if someone (possible intentionally) had a walkie-talkie up front.

  • Doug Hinds says:

    My employer set up a Roth plan within a variable life insurance policy in your, but he owns it until you have been in continuous employ of the company and reach the age of 55 it would then be signed over to you; 10 years into my employment (at that point Vice President of the company), at the age of 45 I developed a health issue which required that I undergo brain surgery. I was not able to go back to work for almost a year. During that period I was let go from the company for “abandonment” of my position). The owner new my intent was to come back and work for him as soon as I was well, and I knew it would be in a lower position (I would never be able to put in the time require and handle the high level of stress that came with it). When I was re-hired I was making less than 60% of what I was making when I left. And I have been plagued with after effects of my brain surgery and several operations (fusions of my spine among other procedures) to try and relieve impingement of the nerves in my spine. Now seven years after returning to work my health has necessitated that I go on disability at the age of 53. Over the years significant portions of my annual bonus ewer contributed to the Roth account. I know that I have not meet the original guidelines to be entitled to this account, but I was the first employee the owner hired and contributed significantly and sacrificed a great deal of time with my family to make this company what it is today; a 70 employee construction company the does over 10 million dollars a year in billing. I’m I wrong to think that to be fair, that I be entitled to at least a portion of the money could still be given to me?

  • Allen says:

    my current manager favors one guy, who was hired based on a recommendations by my manager’s Husband. I found out a year later, and now i understood why he was getting weekends, and light work. My two cents to this article is that i Once called this manager a Leader, but i have since discovered she is more of a follower. I have seen her let people go home 15 to 30 minutes early, and then ask me to do a quick job they could have easily have done before they got to go. All the negative effects above are play out in my workplace but i fear only when it hits the fan, will something be done. We have lost good workers to injury and just plain quitting because of this. My stress level has gotten to a level where my memory is suffering.

  • Greg says:

    The warehouse I work at is shameful at favouritism and attempting to keep it secret. I’ve been a casual worker there for nearly two years and have seen a lot of sexual favouritism. Recently there was a fellow co-worker of ours who was given a permanent position. Now, I’m not saying she didn’t deserve it over others, she’s worth her weight indeed. But what has stuck in many of the staffs minds and really made things go sour is that the position was never announced as being available as they have ALWAYS done when a full-time contract is vacant and available even though everyone knew there would be a position opening up since someone vacated it months ago. Management has also asked it be kept a big secret so no one knows, but the cat is out of the bag and morale is down, a lot.

    What is the moral here? as casuals are we entitled to be informed as a whole when positions are available to apply for? I’m so very angry at this disloyalty.

  • Jane Underwood says:

    This may not be the right venue to ask this question but my husband was fired for showing favoritism, in which he did indeed do this. He has learned a valuable lesson for sure and understands this was wrong and all the reasons this hurt him, his underlings and the company he worked for. He was with the company 29 years. Ouch! So my question is how does he deal with this honestly in job interviews with out automatically costing him an opportunity?

  • Disgruntled says:

    The problem we have in our organization is that our HR manager is the “special snowflake”. She never follows policy, comes in late, leaves early, breaches confidentiality and is so self-serving it’s ridiculous. She originally started out as a part-time HR clerk and somehow managed to get herself promoted (with a sizeable increase) to director by sneaking the status change through the first week our new CEO started. She is not qualified for the job and has made major errors. We even had one employee who was unable to collect on her husband’s life insurance policy when he passed away because the HR director “forgot” to put the policy in place. Other employees have had to go without medical insurance because she “forgot” to enroll them. We held an employee retreat and 90% of the negative comments made by staff were in reference to the HR director. And what happened? Absolutely nothing. She refers to our president as her work husband and he thinks she walks on water! Favoritism at its finest!

  • Nancy says:

    I was offered the next step as a DM but told I would have to go through training for 10 weeks in Texas (I live in California) and if I passed be placed anywhere in the US.I was given less than 24 hours to accept. Now 2 months later another Manager is interviewing for a DM position w/o having to go through the process. I have clearly outperformed him but he is friends with my boss. We were all told you cannot interview for this position w/o going through the process or as a lateral move as a DM. We are an At Will company and State. I appreciate advice.

  • Not happy says:

    I was a QA inspector for 15 years absolutely loved it but we got a new boss above us. To put long story short she didn’t like me for whatever reason. I took redundancy and came back doing a menial job well below my capabilities. I was told that my old department were looking for another QA inspector, which i was elated. I went to see the main men and told them i would be interested in coming back as i wouldn’t need new training because i done it for 15 years. I’ve just found out they have asked around if they would be interested in joining QA. Put it mildly I’m pissed especially as the person they asked is already full time and said no.I am seriously thinking of going to Hr department to get some answers. I am currently doing another job in there but it seems to me they waited for me to get this job .

  • josh says:

    So i work in retail and at the store i currently working at i have seen favoritism. Im sick of it like many of you. I have been passed up on opportunities. i do admit my manager did once like me and was given an opportunity to go further by her liking me but i wasnt trained for it and ended failling. because of not properly beening trained for that position. After my demotion i was treated like crap and when certain position open i was passed even thou that position was a position i could have handle they gave it to person who just started working for the company because she likes him. I been trying to keep my head up hoping for another chance but at this point i feel like I’m not going anywhere. Keep in mind i work in retail for a long time. The last company i work at favoritism wasnt bad because promotion was base by interviews by hr and a panel of team leads vs the company work now that base promotion just by the head manager.

  • Wayne says:

    I work for the federal government and I to have been victimized by favoritism. I get paid very good at my level and could make more in a leadership role. I was passed over by people I trained. I have decided to stay out of the rat race.

  • Jennifer says:

    People politics is psychologically draining. Clock in keep my mouth shut clock out do my chores pay my bills and save up for a vacation alone. That’s how I cope through the child from what’s supposed to be adults.

  • Disgruntled worker says:

    After being in Full time employment for 10 years and upon the departure of my co-worker, my boss employed her friends daughter on a casual basis. (A young upstart that know everything) Even tho only casual she attended Professional Development with another colleague for my department, then took a month to pass on any information to which I had to be taught how to use this new program on computer etc. Extremely degrading to say the least. When I asked why I was not included I was told I would get a turned next year.

    Then went on holidays for 2 months still got paid. I asked why as only casual I was told it was none of my business. Now still casual this person has been promoted to do the more senior gloried jobs that use to be mine. Then I have to listen to this person all day telling me how good they are.

    Then when the boss comes into sight this person is all over the boss sucking up, no-one can get a word in as this person takes the floor. Generally I walk away as it is sicking. If I am speaking on the phone or to someone important this person is always standing listening to the conversation even though they are not in the conversation, then runs to the boss and tells everything before I have a chance to open my mouth.

    I can tell you I am so over it and I have never ever worked with anyone like this and really have no idea how to deal with it. I have pulled up the boss several times but the boss can look you in the eye and lie straight to your face.

    Any advice would be grateful.

  • Andreea Hrab says:

    The first step you should take is help your boss recognize the favoritism, but don’t try to shoot down the favorite, no matter how tempting it might be to correct her in the meetings or point it out to the boss when she’s way underqualified for the project. You should sit down with your boss and agree to a clear job description for you and decide on some goals for you to accomplish over a certain period of time, making sure at least some of those goals can be accurately measured. Hitting those goals will give you material you can use if you ever need to campaign for a promotion or a raise. This also gives you the means to defend yourself if one of the inner circle tries to undermine you someday.
    Find a champion at the same or a higher level than your manager, if possible, who will offer you support when it comes to a promotion or an assignment. If you feel disengaged because of the situation, it would be best for you to get involved in the company beyond your immediate group. You could join committees or employee groups, or you could use your expertise in other departments when they ask for it. You could even try to become acquainted with the boss on a personal level, taking care to keep your self-respect in the process, and find common hobbies or interests so you can talk about something other than work.
    If, despite all your efforts, your career progress is still slow and you can’t live with that, then polish up your resume and start looking for a new job, inside your company or elsewhere.

  • Troe Gethiere Green says:

    My name is Mr. Green and I work for a trucking company moving freight by forklift as a driver. Recently the company rehired a guy who moved out of state and came back. Since his rehire myself and two other African American men have been asked to miss work and not show up on certain days while he is constantly working. I asked why he gets to work while one of us is told to stay home and I was informed that there is no seniority among part time workers. My problem is its only the three black men missing work while this man is not. Is this a form of favoritism? And is this an illegal practice.

  • Andreea Hrab says:

    Hello, Mr. Green. Thank you for joining our discussion. While I can’t advise on the legality of those actions, I can advise you to check your work contract or job description, obtain official information on how many hours you should work, and research the grounds on which a part-time employee is chosen to work. You can discuss this with a manager or someone from HR, and if you feel you’ve been disadvantaged, you can take appropriate action by contacting upper management or an attorney.

  • Pam G says:

    Currently happening ata major UK airport the boss (a woman) is going out with a male employee. He gets an extreme amount of overtime, his girlfriend has just hired his daughter in law ans an immediate supervisor when there are employees working towards it for years. He (The employee) has access to areas even the supervisors cannot gain access to. i.e a basic store cupboard. If he is not on shift we have to cope with minimal tools.

    The woman is an egomaniac and says she will hire and fire whomsoever she wishes. She will give overtime to whomever she so wishes and the same applies to the store room key.

    Her boyfriend assaulted two staff members and it was brushed under the carpet. Two ladies as he will not attack guys. One woman has since left and the other is on constant sick leave.

    The boss told one employee “I do not care about you, you can go now if you want”.
    Morale is at its lowest (Obviously so when the boss declares her non interest in staff)

    Surely this womans’ reign of terror can be stopped?

  • midwest joe says:

    (Heres the hard truth) Neopotism and favoritism are not just negative parts of the workplace but basically in life. They may be unethical but whether its against the law(I doubt it) depends on your country,state,city,town…private,public,government,;profit nonprofit company,local and federal laws. Also I learned a valuable lesson HR/Personnel is NOT the employees shield or friend they are essentially there to keep “The Company” out of trouble ie..liability or lawsuit. And think for a moment what’s your reason for complaining about it? And what do you expect to happen? If its a family owned business…my short answer; forget about a long lasting result in your …ahem,favor. I’m not a business owner but of the places I’ve worked nepotism and favoritism is shrugged off or turned a blind eye. Until nepotism and favoritism are actually made crimes on a federal,state and local level with criteria of proof-you’ll be simply throwing a tantrum for nothing.I don’t like seeming so negative but this what I’ve experienced overall in most work environments.

  • Anonymous says:

    I would like to keep my name anonymous due to the fact that I would rather no my manager find out who it is. So I work at Arbys in Sterling Colorado And the general manager is playing favoritism or nepotism. I say this because I have been working at this facility for 4 years and i have been skipped over many times for promotion not because of how I work but because he promoted his Sister and his brother in law to managers and there are other more deserving individuals that have been there longer than them and they always get special treatment. I say special treatment because employ meals and manager meals are defined as one sandwich and one id or vice versa and today before I clocked off one of the managers the brother in law ordered 3 sandwiches and two sides an the general manager allowed him to use his manager meal on this order so a 32 dollar order was free this is becoming quite a problem and I don’t know what to do to make this go away without taking legal action and lose my job over this thanks

  • Anonymous says:

    Not only to add to my previous comment above about Arbys there rest of the employees hours are getting cut just to give the two new managers more hours which are the brother and sister of the gm I have never gotten a raise and ive ben there for four years im always there on time im never late I have never called off once I have by all means perfect attendance at this eatery and have never received a raise or a vacation none of that

  • Chris. says:

    I am currently going through this now. My manager brought in his buddy and gave him a raise less than six months in. I have been doing everything that’s ask of me and more and all i get is promises, what do i do?

  • Thabo says:

    You teach someone a job after a while management promote that person. And you have to report to that person is it fair or unfair?

  • E.Jamenez says:

    Sure would be nice to expose these managers like being able to wear body cameras like police officers do. Only a wishful thought so please no one go crazy on wasting your energy elaborating on that idea which was intended to have no merit. Ok, so imagine this, not only is favoritism obvious but this is being conducted by a passive/aggressive manager. Managerial style similar to the battered wife syndrome. This general manager of a corporate retail chain also gets away with controlling how many work hours an employee will or will not get. How can anyone get a good feeling being controlled like that? How can this type of manager be stopped? She is very clever knowing how to mask those issues will do no good by putting a complaint into the New Mexico State Labor Dept. and the Human Resource Dept. has a deaf ear and a blind eye of written documentation of times & dates. What now?

  • anonymous says:

    Also wish to remain anonymous. I have worked many many years in the hotel industry. I don’t miss work, show up late, drag my feet, play with my phone. Been with this company longer than the rest of the housekeepers. But, my bosses daughters work there. They miss work at least once a week, wander around, sit and eat breakfast on the clock. She takes them to eat at close by restaurants. She doesn’t make them clean rooms. They run around the building putting sheets in rooms to “help”. Hence I have never found a single tip in any of those rooms. Also, we get to hear them make fun of the employees. New hires are completely turned off. But, it’s a smaller town and the locals talk, guess who wont have a job if they complain?

  • Shelly says:

    In my work place it’s always the same people working bank holidays ,even the managers daughter works every Monday but come bank holiday she gets it off and so does their next door neighbor they never work weekends or evenings

  • Anonymous nurse says:

    I work in a different environment, I am a nurse in a correctional setting. The boss hired my sister n law many years back, they have since promoted her and that’s good, however I am the nurse, she does not have a nurses license, and I am becoming very frustrated with her attempts to tell me what I will, and will not do with the license I worked for, not her. I have been with this entity for over 12 years, I must have done and am something right.
    Do I have any resources out there?.

  • allie says:

    I currently work for a restoration company. I also currently found out I have some restrictions. Ok I get that so I can’t lift or be around hazardous stuff. But why can’t I do paperwork like her daughter gets to do ? I’m literally stuck to doing nothing. Thats not the main problem. The problem is, I work with my bosses daughter. She favoritizes her like crazy. As in she gets all the assignments to get done. I get none. She gets to do all the paperwork. I do none. Its like I don’t know weather she just thinks I’m incapable of doing these things but I try and constantly get shut down. I’ve worked here for four years now. Four years. And I’m the one that has been here the longest. Seniority? No I get none. Anyways I have always loved my job until now. Slowly her daughter has gotten a shit ton of responsibilities. Me none. She’s been here a whole year less than I have. Is that fair ? I just would like to know weather I’m just being a winey baby or if I really have a reason to be upset ?? Please I beg so.done help me here.

  • allie says:

    Ifor some reason it didn’t get put in there, but … I am pregnant that’s why I currently have restrictions. Please someone comment and let me know weather I’m just a baby or if what I am upset about is actually legit.

  • Chris says:

    Nepotism and Favoritism can kill engagement/happiness/retention in the workplace. For all the reasons stated in the comments, those who feel privileged take liberties like coming to work late, slacking off, and being disruptive. Although referrals are still the number source of hiring today, it’s still different than hiring out of nepotism or favoritism. With the candidate is usually not qualified for the job – but its given as a favor, and if you hire people who aren’t qualified and more entitled you can kill the workplace morale and productivity.

    I say set limits and make sure they are held to the same standards as others.

  • Michael Haberman says:

    Hey Allie:
    That is a tough situation. You are working for a boss who treats their daughter as a daughter and not just an employee. Unfortunately there is nothing illegal about that. Is it fair? Probably not, but until you go to your boss and say “I want more to do!” nothing is going to change. Many parents have a tough time viewing their children employees objectively.

  • Gracia says:

    Just to ask, who is more senior than your boss coz sometime back another boss from another department requested me to bring him a writing pad to use in a meeting we had with external customers and in the course of looking for one my boss send me to do another job. she told me that she will take the writing material since the others customers do not have. Now this other boss is on my neck telling me that he will summon me and my boss and that i should know he is more senior that my boss. what should i do about it?

  • Eric Friedman says:

    Hi Gracia, and thank you for sharing the problems with us. Do not say “it is not my fault” – you are a take-charge professional. What you have to do first is notify your direct boss, because she was the one who took your initial assignment upon herself and directed you to do something else. If the situation continues, accept a meeting with the big boss, go with your direct manager and explain your actions. Do not pass blame, simply detail the situation. Ask both your direct manager and her superior for clear instructions on how to make things right.

  • Anonymous says:

    I like to be anonymous as well. Last year I worked for a movie theater. I was only there for 10 months but the main reason I left was because I lost my cool at how many times I was screwed over.

    I was very good at my job, I brought a lot of passion and motivated a lot of people. With maybe the exception of four out of the 70 people I worked with over the course of time, I was their favourite coworker. I didn’t like having that title because I wanted to make sure that the new employees I worked with did not develop that attitude.

    Upper Management always played favourites and it definitely hurt me the most. Lost a sales contest at work because my Supervisor who sold less than me was the HR’s pet and favourite even though I tripled her numbers. When I went to complain about it, it went unnoticed. I tried applying for a Supervisor role but it also went unnoticed by Management and HR and was virtually ignored. Most Supervisors and Management got away with so much time-off and vacations while I was required to work almost everyday. All because of Favouritism and Nepotism as the Upper Management were all connected.

    I still think about it to this day and I haven’t successfully gotten over it as it was a job I liked doing since I was so good at it. Before I left, I gave everyone a pep talk about the nature of favouritism and how it will hurt the workplace.

  • Eric Friedman says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience with us. We are sorry you went through so many hard times without getting the results you hoped for. Unfortunately, we still encounter close-knit managerial departments that cause good people to feel ignored. We hope your new job is much better. Keep inspiring and motivating people.

  • Aahley says:

    I’ve been at my job for three years now. In the beginning I was told I had to work holidays but they would be swapped of so it wouldn’t be every holiday. Three years later and I practically worked every holiday. There will even be new hires that come I n after me and still have the privilege of getting holidays off. If the said holiday falls on one of my normally set days off my manager arranges it so I’ll still have ll to work the holiday. I have spoke to him in the past and nothing changes. What are my rights in the matter other than quiting?

  • Chris says:

    I read your comment and felt really bad for you. My family members have to work the holidays and I know that can be tough. Do you have any documentation where your supervisor promised you the days off? If so use them to discuss it with him. If there is an human resources department you can speak with them as well.

    Personally, I would call one more meeting with him directly to let him know how you feel and if he schedules you for the holiday, I would take it up the chain of command.

    I hope that helps.


  • Bryce says:

    I’m currently working for company where my supervisor and co worker are sorority sisters. My supervisor constantly covers for my co workers missed tasks by asking the rest of the part time management team to pick up the slack. My co worker has missed all of our major trainings (and she needs them the most) because she asked to go out and party. Our supervisors are all best friends who have promoted each other into the current positions they are in even though they do not deserve them. They just promote who will fit in their inner circle rather then who would be a good candidate. I’ve confronted my supervisors about this issue on how its affecting staff morale and people are dropping like flies. They just told me to worry about myself. I need this job and I use to love working here. However it has made me into a spiteful person where I actually catch myself wanting to hurt the company. Because of the nepotism and favortism we have had over 7 managers quit in the last month resulting in us promoting people to fill the roles that are not qualified thus bringing morale down even more. I’ve done everything as an employee by talking to my co worker and saying her lack of effort is affecting the team and my supervisors that this favoritism has to stop. However it still has continued. I met with the HR director and we had a very long meeting about this. Was I in the right to contact HR? I feel as if I have also missed promotional opportunities because I don’t “fit in” with them. Yet they are recommending the said co worker for the opening position next month. This is starting to affect my personal life outside of work because I just cant handle it anymore. I’ve been trying to find other jobs but nothing has come up yet…

  • Carrie says:

    I was bullied, harassed and finally fired by a narcissistic bully that was hired as office manager by her best friend. Her best friend works in upper management. I have 17 years of experience in my field. This woman had none, even though the job description said experience was required. She systematically lied about me to upper management, bullied me and then made it look like everything was my fault! I have never been fired before. I have always got along with everyone. So this really caught me off guard. She took casual statements I made about things that weren’t even work related and turned them around to use against me. She lied about me so much to the CEO that I was called in to a meeting with the CEO who said to me “after everything that S. has told me about you, I can see that all of your problems come from your low self esteem.” I was so shocked, I couldn’t respond. There is no way I could do the job I do and have low self esteem. I also had worked for this company and the same CEO for 6 years before this office manager started and there had never been any complaints against me. All of my reviews were stellar. I should have said that to the CEO, but I was so shocked that I couldn’t think straight. My direct supervisor that I had worked with for 10 years defended me to the last. He wrote letter after letter. Talked to all the big bosses, to no avail. After I was fired, I decided it was probably for the best and immediately started looking for work. I went on interview after interview that all went well, but never a call back. I couldn’t understand it. So a friend that works at one of the companies I had applied for (the largest employer in my area) talked to the HR person and my friend was told, that based on what the office manager of my previous job said about me, I have been listed as “do not hire for any position”. The HR person wouldn’t give my friend anything more specific than that. I was shocked! I had done nothing to get fired for! The day she fired me, I wasn’t even given a reason. So now I understood why I couldn’t get a job. Unfortunately, before I realized what was going on, I had applied at all the major employers in my area. I’m screwed! I have lost everything. I gave up my apartment and moved in with my mother. I have sold everything I own. I cashed out my 401 K. I can’t get a job anywhere! My mother is not in good health. Her house is in reverse mortgage. If anything happens to her, I will be homeless. I have a college degree! I have 17 years of experience. I have awesome letters of reference from every employer I have ever worked for, including my direct supervisor from my last job. And all employers are basing their decisions on what this one person says about me?! Really?! I am terrified!

  • Anonymous says:

    I have been working in the same field for over 7 years and with my current company for over 4. I was with the company before it tripled its employees and associates. I’m in a position to assist with recruiting associates and assist the trainer. Recently the trainer decided to leave, so management decides to promote a girl who hasn’t even been with the company for a year and with no previous experience. Now she is over me and makes more than me, even though I have to train and teach her. To make things even more maddening is that this is not the first time this has happened. I had some one hired on as my assistant and then not even a month later was promoted to head up another department.

  • Anonymous says:

    My employer is constantly showing favoritism toward employees who are disabled. We were told several years ago our job duties had changed and we could no longer work from home so now we have to travel daily to work. However, two people (almost 5 years later) are still working in their homes. One is disabled. The other one we were told would be coming back in to work; that was four years ago! They let the at home people change their schedules or take time off same day at a moment’s notice – and not for medical reasons. I realize the disabled worker has some job protection for her disability and I totally understand, but we are very strictly told we cannot flex our schedule, cannot take short notice (same day) time off unless for a medical reason, etc. The at home girls are constantly give be preferential treatment when it comes to work duties and time off. Is this legal? I have previously in several occasions asked to work an earlier shift when others are off and I repeatedly get denied. Today I find out they called one of the at home girls (who is not as qualified as I am) and asked her to work an earlier shift. It’s day in and day out giving them advantages and I don’t believe it’s fair. I’m also not sure all of it is legal so I’m asking …??

  • Unhappy says:

    My husband has been with this company for 20 yrs. He has been there longer than any of the other technicians. He is the only one with a college degree, the only one licensed to repair everything, and the only one that passes all the classes for training they offer. His supervisor hates him and the main reason is my husband does not kiss his butt, the ones that do have all moved on pass my husband. My husband is the only one that can fix everything the company has, and the other technicians call him to get his help. When they do have a job opening they will wait until my husband is on vacation to post it, if they even post it at all. They have guys that have been with the company for just a few years that have no idea what they are doing and have already moved ahead of him. We know the problems first he does not kiss their butts, all the rest of the guys do, and second since he is the best and can fix everything they dont want to take him off the road. They will also give him the crap jobs that nobody else wants to do, because the butt kissers stand around the dispatcher and kiss butt while my husband is on the rode repairing, so when a crap job comes in they always say well give it to Dave. My husband has went to the company boss and told him about this and all he said was that he does not see any of this going on. It has stressed my husband out so bad over the years, and he does not handle stress well anyways, and he has gotten that everyone is out to screw me over attitude from years of it happening. He has only got a couple more years to suck it up until he retires from there. He has stuck it out all of these years for the pension, 401K and excellent health insurance and he makes quite a bit of money, if not for those benefits he would have done left along time ago. We still have not ruled out transferring to another location within the company, we are not opposed if the right opportunity comes up moving out of state. I remember when hard work was all you needed to get ahead but that was along time ago, it does not apply anymore.

  • Lunch lady says:

    I am having a problem at my workplace as well. I have been working at a small country school as a lunch lady. I’ve been there for almost 15 years. There’s a lady who was hired in a few years after me. We worked together in the elementary kitchen and she would criticize our boss everyday. She couldn’t stand her. I moved my way to the high school kitchen and worked my way up to be the main cook. Three years ago, this lady was moved to the high school. She has wormed her way into the graces of the same boss she couldn’t stand. She does the least she can get away with. They have become the best of friends. Our boss always looks the other way while the rest of us work our butts off. It was finally my turn when one of the oldest ladies retired. I am second in line to the boss. She is getting ready to retire in a year or two. Her new friend is now being trained to take over her job. She throws me a bone every now and then when I speak up about the problem but it doesn’t help. I don’t know what to do. I used to respect my boss. I refuse to quit and give them the satisfaction of getting rid of me. I’m tired of them treating me like the tag a long little sister. Should I confront my boss or let it go and try to deal with this lady on my own?

  • lamcomcac says:

    No thing you can do, and there is no clear policy in any company that i work before about favortism at work. Discrimination is clearly define in most case but favortism is not. Some company try to handle it by changing manager for some period of time, but supervisor is most likely stay there forever. And the root of favortism is keep stay there and wait till time to spread. The only way i see to clear favortism is completely all the staff involve favortism, but it will never happen. If u smart enough to get favortism to discrimination, here is your chance to fight.

  • danh nguyen says:

    live dog is better than dead lion….

  • Zak Melado says:

    Its is so upsetting me how this works out. I am all about equality and fairness. I am one of the best employees in this company’s district i am in (all the managers and head honchos of the company’s district say so, i even got a rare badge that only 10 peopls out of the whole franchise has recieved just to prove it) hell, i can do 3 jobs all at the same time, which nobody can do. I am beyond what anybody could achieve. But i feel in my job i am at, there is favortish and nepotism that is EXTREMLY unfair. There is one person who was originally not born in the USA, and she got hired by one of the head honchos of the company in the district i am in, because she knows his family. Usually, this company does not like full time people. But yet, she gets 40+ hours, and on top of that does a half assed job, does not changed the teas, which means she is serving expired tea, and she never does any dishes (and every time i come in, the sinks are always filled up completly and i have to rush to catch up and she doesnt bother even asking for help, claining its not her job to help the dish person, in which it is part of her job) which really hurts every single person as well, and makes everybody else do her job, because she claims she has a bad back, in which she has no evidence towards (hell, if sje has a bad back, she shouldnt even be working!) And yet, i am a extremly hard worker, do something nobody can do, go above and beyond to be the best, but yet i only get less than 15 hours a week and minimum wage, while she gets full time and $2/hour extra just because she knows the family of one of the head honchos, but yet she is lazy, doesnt do or change anything, makes everyone do her job, etc. But is virtually immune because of favoritism, and nepotism, and the fact she is of mexican decent i believe. It is completly unfair. She hogs all the hours that i cant have, etc. I am the hardest worker there is they EVER actually had, but yet they let the half assed lazy do nothing woman get all the hours and money because she knows the family of one of the head honchos of the franchise. Everyone on the list on average gets 7-23 hours. EXCEPT for her, in which she gets 35-50± hours. Its unfair! >:( im practically working my ass off for nothing. This has to be favoritism and nepotism. Im trying hard as hell to stop these annoying and anger filled antics (i litterally yelled and vented so harshly because of this, but they claim they cant do anything because of favoritism and nepotism (in which i believe they do not know this)) to balance out the hours. My parents forcefully make me pay $400/month, which is more than i get per month BECAUSE of her! i really hope i can use this article to my advantage to stop this. Its unfair and unbalanced and i strongly believe this is favortism and nepotism by the head honcho in the district of the franchise

  • Michael Haberman says:

    Lunchlady, I am sorry to hear about your situation. First there is nothing illegal being done. Your co-worker has just learned to be more effective at the “political” side of working. You can perhaps improve your situation for asking your boss if there are ways you can help her or if there are tasks or projects you can do that will help the department. Confront the boss? Over what? The fact that she has taking a liking to your co-worker? That won’t fly. Unless you have recordings of the co-worker being underhanded and badmouthing the boss you have no evidence and it becomes your word against hers and she is already in the favorable spot. I would just continue to do good work, volunteer for extra learning opportunities and hope you shine that way.

  • Michael Haberman says:

    I am sorry to hear about your husband’s situation. Unfortunately unless your husband can show that he is being passed over because of his race or age, or some other protected category, there is not much he can do. He can certainly express his desire for another opening but if he is so valuable in his current job there is not much motivation for them to be interested in doing that. If you an he are not willing to change companies there is not much he can do.

  • S. Johnson says:

    What is the way to approach HR about favoritism and nepotism? HR is in our corporate office in another state.

  • No Hope left says:

    I have recently been passed for a promotion by a man who is older than I….my previous supervisor who is his boss stated to me before he hired him that my codes were improper and I had to reapply for the position I was already in…I did the job for over a year before they hired this gentleman and now it’s like I am in a hostile environment….there was another gentleman hired in underneath me but him the new boss and his boss have secret meetings without me or the other female manager who is now of my same status….there have been issues raised and brought to HR but they have dismissed this issues….now this lower level employee who is supposed to report to me and the other female manager is bypassing us and going to our boss he completely dismissed us as well does our boss and our bosses boss…..not sure what to do the team member has now began advising and calling employees asking them to lie about our actions ?

  • David sedgewick says:

    On a topic related, my manager has constantly recruited people who she used to work with and are now her friends. I work in health and social care and she recently employed someone with no experience but it was then pointed out to me by a colleague that they were friends on facebook! What action can be taken as you also have to consider those individuals who applied for the job and were overlooked for the position?

  • Joanne says:

    It happens everywhere. My co-worker who started the same time as me and same title is a slacker, comes in late, takes 2 hour lunches, is a chatterbox and gets a promotion. I work very hard, come in on time, take one hour lunches and don’t even get noticed. What is wrong with Corporate America; they are so Political. If they did the right things, they would make more money. Thanks for listening 🙂

  • Chris says:

    Hey No Hope,

    This sounds like a no win situation. You could file a complaint but I doubt anything changes except they would then know you filed a complaint. Sometimes the only recourse is to think about yourself and your family.

  • Chris says:


    You can ask for a reason why you were overlooked and push the ticket for a sound reason however HR may have already (proactively) prepared excuses for the promotion. It’s my experience that when favoritism exists it’s because HR is complicit in it. But there are instances where they don’t know. So ask for a reason.

  • Rosemary says:

    What is awful is when the supervisor makes and receives conversation about their child (each has one – one is grown and the other is a teenager), or about sports, or about happenings in the neighborhood or about what is one the news, that’s alright; however one employee but when another employee spoke to me, she was called aside and told her she was stopping me from doing my work. NERVE! Be the example. If no one is allowed to speak about things not pertaining to work, no one should.

  • Terry Smith says:

    I work in a hospital. My department consists of director (full time), director’s assistant (full time). There are currently three part time non-benefited concierge’s under these two people. I am one of the three concierge’s. In July 2015, one concierge worked 24 hours a week (48 hours per pay) and was benefited. By benefited I mean a person, if at least 40 hours per pay, gets leave, qualifies for health beneits, life insurance, and is eligible for IRA ( some money is deposted for free into your IRA). In July 2015 I worked 8 hours per week, on Thursdays. Another person worked 8 hours per week on Fridays. When the woman (julie) retired in July 2015, I inquired as to being part time benefited. I would have to work 40 hours per pay to do this. I asked if I could work – both weeks of pay period – two 8 hour days, and one 4 hour day. The woman who works Fridays was not interested in getting more hours. Boss said “no I prefer a full day”. I was not sure I would be comfortable working 3 full days first week, then two the second week (3 days in a ro bothered me). So I increased to two days a week, 8 hours each day. But no benefits with this, just extra pay. Well, the woman who works on Fridays (ginny) broke her hip; was out several months and I help fill in on Fridays. In the meantime, an outside person was hired for Monday and Tuesday (not benefited). By the way, I have been in this job 4.5 years. All of a sudden I learn that ginny is working half day – Fridays noon to 4. Saw that the new hire was working the morning shift for ginny 8-12. I thought well I guess ginny is not ready to come back to her 8 hour day yet, so the new woman is temporarily working the morning friday shift. Then I find out the boss let ginny permanently work 12-4, and that the new woman is permanently working the morning shift 8-12, which gives her 8 extra hours per pay period, which gave her the part time benefitted job. I had NO knowledge that this 4 hour shift was available. I was not asked. I was not told about it. It WAS NOT posted. I have seniority. Boss said “I didn’t know you wanted to go to part time benefited”. Do employees have to tell there boss what they want to do? Shouldn’t I have been made aware that there was a benefited position available? This position was just GIVEN to this new employee. Now this new employee gets leave, etc., and I don’t. Here’s something pretty nervy: When the new woman is going to want to take off on her paid vacation, I KNOW I AM GOING TO BE ASKED TO WORK FOR HER. What? Like I am going to come in and work (and accrue no leave doing it) so that the new person can be off on paid leave and i would work for her with NO leave accrual? I have been disadvantaged. I know that a boss can choose a person over me for promotion. But isn’t this situation different? Shouldnt there be some sort of written protocol for this situation? Or can a boss just do what they want in this situation. I am upset and resentful.

  • anonymous says:

    Where I work, I have one other co-worker in the sales department. I have been here 1 1/2 years, while the other has been here six months. During this time, I have not received even one lead that comes in through the website, or internet, while at the same time this other employee has received several. Where the problem comes in is, he is 32 yo, while I a 62 yo, and I should say this other sales person is a nephew to the general manager. I might add, this is a boat, snowmobile, and jet ski store. So what’s one do about that?

  • gabbie hernandez says:

    Is it fair that you make a comment that your boss hires friends and family gives them hours and not to you …what can you do?

  • Joe Nathan says:

    Question: I work for a company, and we have a group of employees on the clients site daily. One Line Manager at that site. Under the Line Manager is the Division Leader. My question is how do you feel about the Division Leader being allowed to Work from Home once or twice a week because of school issues, and being able to pick up the children.

    This Division Leader has three employees who work under them, and are in the office daily. Two of the employees have children of there own, and come to work every day.

    Is this something the other three employees should say something about, or just let it go and continue to be thankful for a job?

    I guess I have a hard time with the fact that the Division Leader can “tell” the line manager her schedule and how she has to work it for picking up her kids.

    Any suggestions???

  • Chris says:

    Terry Smith,

    Bosses aren’t supposed to do whatever they want. Of course there are supposed to be rules and policies in place to promote and uphold fairness. At first, when reading your comment I tried to play the Devil’s Advocate but as you continued with the story there is just no justification for what’s happening at that place. I can not tell you what to do because I am sure there are other variables at play and sometimes launching formal complaints can have a reverse affect. My advice would be to ask yourself, is it worth staying there, or pursuing action or can you manage it?

    Good luck

  • Chris says:

    Dear Anonymous,

    Is there anyway you can get into the web portal before your younger counterpart? Also is there any way you can have a conversation with him and say something like “I check the portal and there used to a few leads, but now they are gone, is there anyway we can share the leads a little better?”

    Maybe this can be resolved through conversation. I hope so.

    Good luck

  • Chris says:

    Joe Nathan,

    Thanks for the comment. We have to be careful with this one because working from home is a huge benefit that is on the rise. This could have been negotiated during the hiring process or offered in order to retain this employee. Or, the work from home benefit could be allowed due to some family medical situation also known as a reasonable accommodation under the law.

    Either way, it is something that is happening more and more and will continue to happen. Some employees like the flexibility of working from home, others find less distractions by working at the office. You never really know.

    Good luck,

  • Bryan says:

    Where I work they hired the Presidents Daughter to work with me and perform a few other duties. This is an I.T. position the would normally require real hands on experience that the daughter did not have. The Co. overlooked many qualified candidates but of course hired the presidents daughter. Now I am stuck working with her, and I cant even stand to look at her for what she represents and how she got the job. I was raised that you get what you urn and deserve. I discussed this with my manager, who was the one doing the hiring. And her comment was “thats how if works around, you like your job?” which she said several time. I have always got good reviews. When I questioned how I did not like the nepotism, she said well, I checked with HR as I had concerns too. Well the HR Director of my years is her good friend and neighbor that has been with the company many years. The HR Director even hired her husband at another director level…so I dont think HR is going to change there ways…I do get paid well and like other aspects of my job. And there is little else in my area. I either stay and accept or move..

  • Christina says:

    What about because someone had to callout of work for a legitimate reason. The supervisory snippy on the phone and hasn’t talked to them in over a week?

  • Linda says:

    The owners daughter and son in law work with us and it is horrible. We all know they make exorbitant salaries, come and go as they please, cause havoc, lie about being home working when we know they are on vacation, etc., and have caused 95% of the not low, but no moral! No chance they will leave as they have it made! Its so sickening to work hard in the same field for many, many years then now have to be in such a toxic environment. Jobs aren’t easy to come by now a days so leaving isn’t an option, besides I like what I have been doing for almost 30 years and feel like leaving would give them another feather in their cap as they have caused many to leave! Its nice to at least be able to vent here and not feel like you’re the only one! Hang in there everyone, surely fate will step in somehow and get rid of these salary sucking worthless duo!

  • molestr says:

    Perfectly written! Like

  • Cafe man says:

    Just curious. My wife and I work for the same company. I am a manager at a location in the restaurant department. She is a lower director for our corporate department. For as long as we have been with the company we have been married. Not to toot my own horn but we have been some of the companies strongest assets. Now fine print, we have been seperated and or amidst our divorce, a non aggressive divorce, I have stayed living in our home together for our son in the mean time. She is up for the head of director for her department but one of her supervisors came to her and let her know that our hr director may put a stop to her promotion because we still live together. The problem is that they did not have an issue with this before as she has been acting in place of the director position for 5 months since the last director left as well as we have shown through 10 years that we are more than capable of working in a professional manner. Why all of a sudden is it a problem…… not to mention, the issue seems to be that we are getting a divorce but still live together.

  • Chris says:

    Hi Cafe Man,

    No one likes to call HR out more than me but in this instance they are doing the right thing for a company POV. There are so many sides to this situation and so many ways this could go wrong. They have to protect the company’s image and position with employees. For instance, DYK, they could be sued by another employee if they give your wife that promotion? Yes, another person could make a case that it wasn’t based on merit and it could violate an employment law policy. There are other factors and since I don’t work there I’m simply presenting another side to this situation.
    Personally, I worked for a company ran by a couple, they got a divorce and the entire company fell apart. I know you are not owners but this a complicated situation and they have to consider a lot of other people and what presidence does it set going forward.


  • Registered Nurse says:

    I recently applied for a promotion and had to jump through many hoops during the interview process because I am dating my boss’s brother and my boss’s boss wanted avoid nepotism. In the meantime, I was not given the same fair opportunity as previous applicants for other leadership roles like the one I applied for. I was told I wasn’t “leadership quality” because of a situation in which my boss’s boss would not relay to me or give me further opportunity to grow professionally from. At one point my boss’s boss called a meeting with our HR personnel to make sure I understood the extra interviews from home office we’re not done because I was being set aside because of nepostism. I’m not even married and felt I wasn’t being denied the opportunity for the position because of who I was datkng, even though I have worked for this same employer on and off for 14 years and knew the mission vision values and operating standards like the back of my hand. Do I have a leg to stand on in saying there could be legal matters presented in this situation?

  • Andrew says:

    My bosses son works for her. Joe I work in a restaurant that gets extremely busy. Now it is obvious she treats him completely different from the rest of us. When it gets busy he will punch stuff throwing stuff starts getting verbally aggressive. Now I had a incident Saturday. He got verbally aggressive towards me to the point that I got so angry I was shaking. Instead of sending him home my boss sent me home. Now I know this isn’t right and I have been trying to fix it for sometime now. He has threatened me before to other than this situation. He openly admitted to threatening me and still didn’t lose his job. I’m wondering what can I do in this situation cause I’m either going to lose my job or my temper and I need both. I just need to know where to go from here cause he will not get fired cause he is her son and she made that clear

  • Chris says:

    Registered Nurse,

    Unfortunately, you don’t. I understand your point of view however you have to look at this from the other side. It’s my experience that no matter how discrete an office relationship is, it also known throughout the company. That being said, if you were to get a promotion there are some will believe that you got the job because of your relationship with the boss’ brother – EVEN IF YOU ARE THE MOST QUALIFIED. So in this instance the company is doing the right thing by protecting itself from any appearance of wrong doing, favoritism or unfair hiring practices.

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news,

  • Chris says:


    That is a toxic situation. I am sorry that is happening to you. You have 4 options.

    1. Document and collect evidence and take it to the EEO or an Employment Lawyer
    2. Document and go to the boss and ask/hope that it stops
    3. Quit…find another job
    4. Stay there and deal with it

    I know things are tough. I know things are hard. But it’s better to get out of that situation before someone gets serious hurt.

  • VideoPortal says:

    Patronage becomes a round-about way for an executive or manager to engage in nepotism or cronyism. An executive promotes employees he trusts into positions of management, and then asks those managers to hire the her friends and family members. This kind of favoritism has the potential to spread throughout the company as the executive brings more of her favorite employees into positions of authority.

  • stuck says:

    My Manager and the HR Manager and my co-worker are all best friends. They go to lunch every day and chat at eachothers’ desks, whispering and laughing. The HR Mgr leaves her office to come to our open office environment to chat. My coworker is always on her cell phone, comes in late . takes 2 hour lunches, leaves early and my manager covers for her all the time. I can’t go to HR, because she’s showing favoritism, too. My co-worker went to her and said I made her feel uncomfortable in the workplace because I said, “Oh, there you are!” when I was looking for her regarding one of her accounts and she was away from her desk as usual. Hr Mgr and my Manager and the coworker discussed it in HR’s office for 45 minutes then called me in without knowing what was coming and let the coworker confront me about it!
    Said I made her feel uncomfortable; that I was making the comment to embarrass her! I was just looking for her and found her! that’s all. Anyway thanks for listening…NO where to turn

  • Chris says:

    Dear Stuck,

    Well, it does seem like a very tough situation. I would advise you to evaluate the situation, meaning, is this the best job available to you? Do you love the work that you do there? Do you feel valued? I am betting that the answer is no.

    You can try to document and galvanize the other workers and launch a compliant but it would probably not change a thing. Life is too short not to be happy or at least content at work. It may be time to find a new gig and if it really bothers you, you can launch an investigation through your local EEOC office. They investigate unfair work practices and hostile work environments as well as discrimination and harassment.

    Also, that feeling of being stuck and uncomfortable has a legal term (in your situation) it is retaliation and intimidation!

    Good Luck

  • Judy says:

    My supervisor tagged me on facebook with a clip that reads “my co worker thinks she’s the boss” and I be like whatttt?? She favors another employee since they are friends outside of work who can not balance the funds she is assigned. This other employee has been there 2 yrs and I have been there 9 months at a higher level. The other one has not balanced a fund since Oct 2016 and last Friday I was called in and told I forgot two entries and now the employee can’t balance , I was told it should be consistent. I’m sorry but shouldn’t consistent also be to balance monthly? I am ready to go to HR for unfair and hostile work environment oh and I have a ton of notes I have taken on other incidents. Thoughts? -and supervisor dies not want to hear what I have to say

  • Joe Knows says:

    Our particular case of nepotism is perfect… President of the company hires his son to be the heir to head of HR when the current HR Manager retires and his wife as the secretary. Can’t wait until I need to tell HR something in confidence so it can be repeated at the dinner table.

  • Chris says:

    Dear Judy,

    There should definitely be consistency in any workplace. You should also consult HR however, do not be surprised if they try to explain it or justify it. Also be sure you know what you expect from HR, meaning, are you looking for an investigation? If so be sure to tell them that your want an investigation into unfair expectation and favoritism. They should perform it and should take about 2 weeks to investigate.

    Good luck and document everything – including after your ask for the investigation. Make sure they do not try to retaliate against you.

  • Maphutse Soebehle says:

    My request is on the nepotism and ‘special request’. I am looking into the situation from my working area, our HR Dept. has hiried its staff and the union families when approached answer is the special request or the company has the recuiting system. Now I do not understand because my HRL has his relative also in the company and the friend ‘ child in the same company.

  • Tabs says:

    I’m curious to know what you do when the favoritism is directed at someone IN the Human Resources department? This particular situation leading to their recent promotion to manager (without much experience) and a huge corner office. Meanwhile, there is a director (PhD.) of another department (revenue generating I should add) who, though having been with the company for over 45 years, is being placed in a small adjoining office.

  • Michael says:

    One of my coworkers is from the same country my boss is from. And there is definitely favoritism going on. He goes to work at 11:30, leaves at 2 to pick up his kids, comes back an hour later and goes home at 6. He also gets to work from home.

    The company’s policy is very clear that working from home isn’t allowed and you are supposed to work 8 hours a day. Well, all my coworkers are pissed about it. 2 of my them already left. I just started applying to different places and want to get the hell out.

    BEST ADVICE: Leave while you can! It’s not worth the trouble talking to your boss. He won’t change overnight and will resent you for bringing it up. There are good companies with good management out there!

  • rocio says:

    i am working for my company about 4 years this company works for the hospital as well so then send me to the hospital couple of months ago, so i requested my manager to stay here at the hospital because is more convenience for me she was ok with that but now she wants me back to the office because they hired a coworker sister and according to the rules they can not hire family member, but now because she can not be at the office they want me to go to the office and her coming here .. i think is not fair !!!

  • Anonymous says:

    My company has cornered the market on nepotism and favoritism. How about a person with 11 counts of workplace violence still having a job? The hr supervisor is now on his 2nd girlfriend who he is supposed to be their boss. The hr and management team got all their families in. The management team consists of friends and family who were hired in and magically within a few months to a year were made supervisors as the other supervisors were systematically terminated. Then there’s the workers who just call their supervisors/friends/family member and say they are not coming in instead of calling the call off line and taking a point to escape the attendance policy. Then there’s the people who are on their phones all day even though that’s not allowed. And let’s not forget all the people who come in late and don’t punch in so the supervisors/friends/family fix it so they don’t get any points for being late. All the while others are held to the policies and are treated with indifference or just like trash because your not a butt kisser or one of the buddies. All of this in a union shop but the stewards a chair members are also in the buddies group getting their perks too. Everyone who was against this unfair treatment is now apart of it. It’s absolutely over the top. I have never seen anything like it. The people who are there working doing their jobs following the policies and are honest have no voice. They are held to the company standards that others are not. If you say anything then you are rocking the boat and have an problem. There’s no hope for help there, no hope for change, morality or ethics. Just prayers it will get bought out and taken over. Could use lots of prayers:)

  • Monty Crockett says:

    I was hired to establish a manufacturing shop by a friend as my supervisor because of the knowledge I posses after I agreed to accept I was informed every dept was staffed with the team that had to fold up including the GM,HR,QC,and document control was family and friend it took 45 days before I was treated horribly in front of the HR because I didn’t include her I felt secure corporate had my back still few weeks later my supervisor was tense after nine months and I don’t know how many times I’ve been told of things I’ve done that were fabricated I don’t know about what I haven’t heard discovered there were complaints filed by my Forman who apologized because that’s all he heard befor hire but once moved him up next to husband to assist he was blackmailed and it’s then I realized I needed help my superintendent knows my president knows he has my back all he states but it’s now turned to employee participation even heard a guy was wearing his pistol in the shop when I ask who it was me I quit Monday because now it’s a head hunt and I have been slandered on drugs and explicitly nasty told by a gentleman he was asked to file a grievance and he denied today contacted a lawyer with docs I’ve gathered and lust of witnesses. My supervisor asked me stay get two weeks but I believe he cracked and protected his self I am a good leader of men and team and feel so sick how I was betrayed well hope what I gathered pays off because I’m out of money somebody wake me from this nightmare I’m like a zombie right now

  • Sahara says:

    I have a special situation that is actually the opposite of most of the issues with nepotism on this page. I’m hoping someone can help me out here.
    I was hired part-time for a non-profit organization in September of 2014. My younger sister was then hired part-time for the same company in October of 2015. Mind you, the company was well aware of her relation to me, we have never concealed the fact that we are sisters. In January of 2016 I was promoted to a full-time position and then to an official leadership (management) position in July of 2016. My sister is still working in the same department as me as a part-time staff member, nothing has changed in her position and my supervisors – including the Branch exec know she is my sister and see her value in the company. Any direct concerns with her are handled by my direct supervisor and it has never been a problem. I’ve never shown favoritism toward her and the staff have never complained or shown resentment to either of us.
    Recently our company’s HR person found out that she is my sister and is now raising questions regarding nepotism. I’m up for another promotion this fall and will not be staying with the company if they ask me to choose between my job and my sister’s. She has worked her butt off to be there as much as I have and after almost 2 years of her working with me, this has never been a problem before.

    Do I have any say in this when they approach me formally or should I start searching for another job now?

  • nottelling says:

    Well, there are things that will get you trouble at work. Don’t be late for one. But don’t join in trash talking. They all see whats going on anyway. There will still be some jerks at work so learn how to stick up for yourself without getting defensive. “why do you say that?” is a great response to shut down disrespect. Years ago, I was transferred to a new department at a company I’d been at not very long and had more experience than the team lead (same field and technology, different company). She introduced me to the new group by saying “its great to have you join our group- even just to have an extra pair of hands”. unskilled/untrained was very implied in the way it was said. I was a little younger (still older than she) and not as outspoken and just smiled sheepishly, secretly wanting to punch her. This would have been an optimal time to throw out a “why do you say that?” As I’d have been able to counter whatever her excuse was with a summary of my experience. Keeping quiet (as I’d been brought up to do, like a “nice” girl) only got me stepped on more and more at work. If there’s favoritism, why not go straight to the manager and say “I notice you’ve let Ann do the xyz project the past three times, may I try it this round?”

  • Chris says:

    To All,

    Thank you for sharing your situations, as you can see this is a hot topic right now and always. This is something that is even in the leadership of the White House but I do not want to talk about politics, only that nepotism is real and everywhere.

    Each of these situations are interesting in their own rights, and although some are blatant examples of nepotism, others are not. You have to realize that even the inference of nepotism can be damaging so if you work with a relative (even if you treat them fairly) it could be viewed as favoritism.

    I do not say this lightly, but some of you are no win situations where the nepotism touches the highest levels of the organization and will not change. Others may be able to speak to someone about it.

    My best advice is to find a situation you are happy with, so if that means finding other job or lodging a compliant, do what you think will make you feel the best.


  • sprintprepaidcard.com says:

    And favoritism leads to lost productivity, as employees who aren’t getting the plum assignments spend more and more time gossiping and griping about how unfair the system is rather than doing their work.

  • Ayesha Taskin says:

    Hi, so I live in Dhaka, Bangladesh. Few days back I sat for an interview at The Westin Dhaka, I really had high expectations from this interview as my viva, written test and lastly GD (group discussion) went really well. Infact at one point my interviewer asked all other candidates to vote who they would take for the job if they were the interviewer and I got most of the votes.
    But after everything I got to know that I wasn’t even called for the next round and my interviewer has taken a girl who he knew personally. Basically he had already decided he would take this girl and all this interview process and everything was just a showoff!
    My question now is:
    1. Can I mail to the parent compqny of westin and let them know the whole thing in detail?
    2. Will it help me in any way?
    3. Even if I am not selected I want Starwood to take action against nepotism so no one has to go through such frustrating situation.

    Please someone suggest me on what should/can I do in this regard.


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  • Bob says:

    Where I work is laying off bet a few people and I’ve been with the company 21 years I’m getting laid off bet human resources is not laying off her husband that’s only been there 4 years what to do

  • RichardmaidaRT says:

    Jerry Lewis Was the Quintessential American Jew – He wanted to believe he was an ordinary American. But his success came from the tension his difference created.

  • Debra says:

    I have been working for a family run business for 6 1/2 months full time. This Friday my boss said he will be dropping me down to 4 days as his daughter needs the day as she has lost hours at her own job . I don’t have a contract that I have signed. But I was employed for 5 days not 4. Also my job still exist they haven’t made the day redundant just me doing the day. Is this legal

  • Anonymous says:

    So I still work at this retail store for 3-4years and there has been so much drama throughout the store within the employees. Skipping ahead, how or what can I do to make an action of having this ruthless carelessly store manager who happens to hire his wife’s best friend and out the nothing promoted her the supervisor position. Problem is that so many cashiers and sales floor left bc of her. And what she does is go running to the boss and complain how we don’t give her respect and complains also about our dress code. And bc of that he gave her that authority to prohibit us wear colored outerwear, which is very unfair. And it’s obvious that them two are messing around a lot cause she gets what she wants with her stupid complaints. Then my store manager is cutting hours a lot to this co-worker just bc she stood up in her defensive for a reason she did. Is all this even allowed?? Like what can I do cause we can’t keep our arms crossed if this is gonna continue this way..

  • not a member says:

    I work at a college. Most directors and people of influence are all members or have strong ties to the same sorority. Is this a form of discrimination? Nearly all open positions are left open util one of them apply.

  • A says:

    What should I do when management intentionally tells you to do the wrong thing and then informs the senior management your actions. People are just so racist in the workplace and in this country too.. how can I avoid these things? It happens everyday at my workplace..there is too much of favoritism.. the company cannot leave 2 staff because they have been there for too long.. there is so much of groupism which doesnot allow me to explore my potential.. managers are on the same page.. The girls controls the guy and guy creates a chaos as she says. Everyone listens to him because he has worked hard in the company, but the woman is too much into black magic that no one can complain about her. There are too many things with too many people happening at the work place. Should I change the workplace? How should I tackle everyday conflicts? The laundry was supposed to do return banquet linen by yesterday, but the team and me did it today; I can’t expect anything worse than this, if there wasn’t any guest pressure and senior management pressure there would not have been any responsible action taken by them. I can’t give it back to them. The whole team is group and they all are racists, they were looking for a weakness and when they could not find one and their weaknesses started slipping out, they could not hold their personal egos.

  • Anonymous says:

    Government agencies are the worst!! If you say something, they discipline you, they invite you to facilitating discussions so they can point fingers at you, and they’ll never promote you. Media will do good by exposing nepotism, favoritism, and cronyism. Things could change through mass exposure.

  • SHELLY DENT says:

    After being in relationship with him for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drosedebamenspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:drosedebamenspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

  • Brandy says:

    I applied for a job through my company that another guy had applied for his soon to be father in law runs the department with out interviewing me and they did talk to him but he managed to get the job. Is this a form of nepotism?

  • pigbitinmad says:

    I worked for a place that did just that… promoted a new favorite who had come on as a temp during a very busy three months before the end of the fiscal year in which the budget for materials was doubled (and he was well within his honeymoom phase). Nevermind that I had been making really $#!##Y pay for 5 years, I always stupidly believed the sob story that “we just can’t do it now.” (This was Temple University who always had money for everything but salaries, but it was bureaucratic and not easy to reclassify job descriptions). I was desperate and I stupidly believed I could work this crappy job and maybe move up (but I found out too late that from the University President on down, promotions from within were absolutely taboo). Still, I thought I was doing a good job and my performance reviews were generally at the top of the heap….that is until Mr. new favorite came along.

    Needless to say, when this favorite’s temp contract ended, my boss moved heaven and earth to keep him on even though there was no work to do all summer long. Finally, he got his wish and his most hated underling finally got another job. She was bullied so badly that she had to leave. That was when her old job was reclassified as one paying significantly more (even though it was the same old job). My performance reviews were suddenly downgraded so that he could be in the top 10% and be eligible for this astronomical raise.

    So yes, I quit. And I am sure it did not hurt anyone in the long run (in the short run it may have been a little inconvenient). However, not being happy with that, I continue to trash the brand on the internet in hopes that nobody with even a modicum of intelligence will make the mistake of working there

  • L Russell says:

    And you wonder why some people go Postal and hurt innocent coworkers. Do what’s right to recover. Don’t fall in the trap sounding or acting like a victim. That’s the last kind of person employers will hire if given a choice. Change your stories around and don’t focus on the details why you left voluntary or involuntary and emphasize how you overcame the situation. And if you still working with the same company, Think outside the box! Ask others for creative ideals how to disrupt the success for other narcissist coworkers, or to make yourself shine above all, even if it’s for a brief moment. Try doing a little charities work or find away to pay it forward for a stranger or someone you know. And don’t ever forget as much we dispies people who treat others unfairly sometimes they might just being doing us a big favor.

  • LUIS TORRES says:

    I been told it is hard to prove!!!!!!!!
    And its perfectly legal.
    I was fired for wrongful termination, now i get told. Its legal for a manger to lie about an employee and terminate him/her.
    with no recourse.
    why do we have employment laws for ???????????

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